News and Notes

Well session three is in the can and guess what, no unpleasent side effects or trips to the E.R.!
The nausea and cold sesitivity are hanging around a bit longer with every session, but I think I can deal with that. It's just learning to adapt a bit and maybe changing a few diet items that may trigger the nausea more. I'm thinking dairy may be a "trigger" food.

I heard thru the grape vine that my brother was willing to shave his head in solidarity and support if I started loosing my well groomed head of hair. I thought it would be funny to call him all depressed saying I had to shave my head so he would too.... My wife then played the "kharma card" and talked me out of it. Bret, you owe Connie one.

Trying to get my excersing in when I can with walks and bike rides. Now that I know I don't have any cardio problems, I'm ready to start "opening things up" a bit. Try to start a bit of weight lifting and yoga too.

The new plan is to race on May 23rd, the day after the fundraiser. Of course my race would have to be first thing in the morning, but what can you do. Looking foward to just finishing and claiming my life back.
I'm even thinking about getting a new frame and debut it at the race (Winstead Woods, sponsored by my friends and Biker's Edge), but I just can't bring myself to spend the $$ right now.

Well today is one of those posts that just fill up space, so that's it for today. If I have anything else important to say, you guys will be the first to know (actually, maybe the second, I have to do a better job of telling Connie what I'm writing before I post it....)

Wednesday update

Not much to say... pump is out. i don't seem overly dehydrated so no need for an extra bag, and BP was back to normal!
I'm tired and tonight and tomorrow are the tough nausea times, then of course there is always the week end surprise to keep the dr's and nurses on their toes... well see what happens this time

Tuesday ramblings...

Well day 1 of the third session is done and over, it's fanny pack time now until 10:45 tomorrow.

Not much to report. Doctor Davis thought that due to the stress related heart rate issues I had last week, a true anti-depressant might be a good thing "just to keep me even keeled" during all of this. We'll see how that works, luckily it's a very low dose so it shouldn't effect my day to day operations.
Cold neuropathy is really bad this time around, even room temp liqids are a tad rough. Looks like it's lot's of hot chocolate and soup for me this time around.

I think I've develpoed a strange comfort food. For some reason Honey Roasted peanuts do it for me lately... go figure.

Here's a pic of what the pump that's in my fanny pack looks like, luckily it's pretty idiot proof:

Essentailly it's give me a slow dose of a second cheomo with a tube running up to here:

That will probably leave a tan line....

I'm thinking that ScopeThatColon.Bolgspot T-shirts might have to be in the works... I'll keep you all posted.

And I might have some really exciting bike news to share with you all too!

That's it for now, Haskins...Out!

Pre-Chemo Sunday!

Well it was a great, albeit chilly, Sunday-before-chemo day.

Slept in a bit then was able to head out on a ride with Andy. And I actually remembered the camera!

Best part of it all, no heart racing or palpatations (except for the hills)! Hopefully I'm on my way.

Here's some pics:

Me at the top of one of those pesky hills...

My friend Andy, who's not as tired at the top of the same hill....

Crossing the washed out bridge at Case Mtn....

Don't look down as you cross.....

Post rain waterfall...

All in all, a great ride. Then went over to watch a race in Farmington to get even more inspired...what a day!

What cancer does to you.

I was out riding today (yes, I forgot my camera again) and I was thinking back over the last 2 months and how having cancer has effected (or is it affected) me.
It's a hard question to answer because there's really "two" me's right now.
One is the fun loving, sarcastic, pain in the ass, who would rather be just riding his bike than anything else...Todd that you have all come to know and love.
The second is a beaten down, leave me alone Todd that, well, really sucks. It sucks for me too, not just you guys. So when it's polar opposites, it's hard to describe.
The new medicine regime seems to have really helped out the last week or so and it seems everything is much easier to control.
I think that if this progress keeps up, I'm only going to become a better person after all of this (I know, it's hard to believe "this" can get much better). But now it definately feels like there is optimism in the Toddre camp.
Cancer and chemo is a funny thing, it really beats you down physically and mentally but if you can mentally stay really strong, the physical part is much easier to overcome. Brain definately trumps body in the fight.
Because of the wonderful advice from Dr Davis, I really feel that now I want take this on and beat it. Notice I said "want to take it on", not "have to". Looking back on things I can say that mentally, I've never been the strongest person . I feel that changing now, and in a weird way, I owe it to cancer.
Monday I start my 3rd week of chemo, and my body may hate it, but I'm developing the mental tools to be able to overcome it all.
I'm ready to beat this thing....

The Perfect Storm

Well had a nice chat with my oncologist last night to find out what the heck is going wrong (On a side note, thank you to Dr. Lynn Davis, he's a great guy with a fantastic demeanor that just puts you at ease with what's going on. Last night's "follow up" call came at 7pm, you don't get that very often).
Basically it seems like I have no "cardiac" issues, but a perfect storm of issues that makes it seem like I do.
First is the standard nausea. I think we finally found the right medicine that works for me.
On top of that, I'm still dealing with a constipation type of problem from the colon surgery that gets compounded while on chemo.
Next we have dehydration. I tend to dehydrate easy anyhow, but when you feel like crap and then have to deal cold neuropathy, you get tired of room temprature water and Gatorade. That's something I have to work on because dehydration can really spike your HR.
Then we have an axiety issue because of all of this that's just turning my stomach inside out causing heartburn and the like.
So we're taking a new four pronged attack at the problems using Gas-x, Prilosec, nausea meds , Atavan (for nerves and anxiety), and lots of fluids. So I'll report back in a couple of days let you all know how it's going.

On a kind of funny side note on the Atavan. The nurses told me Dr. Davis wanted to give a perscription for it and I told him not to bother because I had plenty at home from my surgery. When I would take it like he suggests, I couldn't figure out why it would wipe me out for hours. Well last night we realized that I was taking double the dose I should be taking in this situation ...
Moral of the story, get the script correct...lol

Gotta love George Clooney

Well yesterday was a fun 7 hours at the ER due to an elevated heartrate and high blood pressure.
I gotta say, it's was nothing like what you see on "ER". They seem more concerned on TV.
Essentially 7 hours got me a bag of fluid, my B.P. twice and a couple of blood tests.
Results... "we don't know..." or "you might need to see a cardiologist" or "maybe it's stress"..
Gee, thanks doc.
I'm just going to have to have another sit down with the oncologist to get to the bottom of this...

Grey Skies

Rough day today... just feel down right blehck with no energy. Just seems like there's a dark cloud hanging over me last two days. Plus this cold neuropathy is killing me. I'm dying for a cold drink.
This is the part of the whole thing that really sucks.

What new?

I know all my fans are asking this. The internet is rich with rumors... Kidnapped by sex craved cougars, becoming Tiger Wood's caddy, or reaplcing Simon on American Idol....

Well guess what, none of it is true. The truth is I haven't had much to say.
I got over the reaction to the Zofran with some Benedryl. The Dr. still isn't convinced it's an allergic reaction, but we decided not to take the chance anymore. So now I'm on a pill that only costs about $175 a pill... who says we need healthcare overhaul? Hopefully they work!

I've been able to get out for some bike rides although not at the intensities I had hoped. Still might shoot for my race date on the 18th, but who knows at this point. I do need to do a better job at remembering to take pics on the rides to post. We live in a beautiful area.

Yesterday's chemo went by with little fan fare... another 4 hours of hanging out with my wife "talking"... I don't which is worse.. the chemo or the talking...(just kidding, hun).
Fighting a bit more of cold neuropathy this time around. People must be looking at me funny as I wear gloves and a hat in 70 degree weather. Cold drinks are a bit of chore also, nothing like a room temp. soda.

Hopefully with the new nausea meds I'll be able to do a bit more exercising that I did last time around. I really think it does help both physically and mentally. The key will be the balance of excercise and rest... wish me luck.

here's some words for everyone to live by...
Sometimes we fall down, can't get back up
We're hiding behind skin that's too tough
How come we don't say I love you enough
Till it's to late, it's not too late

I'll check in with everyone tomorrow or Thursday.. see ya then