Well as I come up on session #7 I've been looking back at all we've been through and realize a few things.
This is a much harder disease than I thought it would be. It's not like the flu where you're sick for a couple of days than you get better. This is a long played out stuggle.
One thing that amazes me me still after 3 months is how much of a mental struggle it is. You have to be sharp and positive mentally no matter what your body says to get through the daily grind. After this, all those "minor" stuggles I bitch about are going to be a piece of cake.
I also didn't realize how fatiguing it would be. In the beginning I had all of those problems with the side effects (I've sincegotten straightened out) but now it's just constant state of fatigue. I was ready to become everybody's hero and ride, work out and maybe race during all of this. I can't say I failed at this goal, but I've definately had to "tweak" my plans a bit....
Went for my normal walk last night and that seemed to be a struggle from the beginning. It will be interesting to see what happens when/if I try to ride this week end. But you know what, I'm out there and can enjoy the great outdoors with a new perspective. Cancer or not, there's alot of people who can't or won't try.
People who know me well know that I have a running joke that "I hate the people" (Years and years of retail do that to you...). This whole experience is starting to turn me (not completely, just a bit). Between the doctors and nurses, friends and family and everyone in the community who have sent well wishes, prayers, food, smiles and so much more our way... it's really easy to see and appreciate the good and the beauty in the world around you.
Cancer is a crappy disease, but I think I might be lucky to have it....
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