Friday Ponderings

Well unless something exciting happens this afternoon, this is the last post before the ScopeThatColon! family retreat next week.
Couple of things:
- I think I'm ready to become a bike rider again. Just five chemos left and I think I'm going to have to force myself to exercise and ride through it. Enough of this always tired crap. May not be pretty, but it should work. ( And no, O.W.B.C. I won't be joining you ....)
- This fall I think I'm going to become a bit selfish and just do what I want and try to forgo a real job for a bit (Hell, we've made it this far). This includes doing the little things to help my family out too. Things have kind of fallen apart here at the compound.
- The guys at Airborne bikes are really cool and been very patient with me and my wishy washiness. Thanks Reed and Jeremy! Flight crew, keep up the good work!
- I have to get thank you notes out this week while we're away, so alot of you should expect something in the next week or so.
- Is it Setember yet? freakin' kids are already driving me crazy.
- We have a realy cool public pool here in town.
- There's no cable TV at the cottage...how the hell am I suppossed to watch the World Cup?
- Looking foward to the next week.
See ya!

So I'm not the smartest guy in the world...

As most of my loyal followers have probably realized, I haven't posted in awhile. No, there's nothing really wrong with me physically (besides the obvious), but we did have some technical difficulties here at ScopethatColon! headquarters.

A few weeks back the element in our oven crapped out on us. Now keep in mind that our oven is at least 10 years old so it was the old "fix it or buy a new one" argument. Well me being the handyman that I am, decided that I'll just order a new element and replace it, how hard can it be?

Well if you second guess yourself with the wiring, it can be very difficult. I guess I crossed two of the wrong wires and sent a nice little power surge through out the house. Not only did it blow out the oven, but also fried our modem...duhhhhhh.

Anyways a new modem later and I'm back up and running so expect a few updates before the end of the week...then it's off to the Cape for a bit of highly needed and well deserved R&R with the rest of the ScopethatColon! family...putting it that way doesn't make it sound fun at all.....

Health wise things are OK. Heat is getting to me more and more and I'm not exercising at all due to the fatigue. Heavier now than I've ever been... obviously my appetite hasn't been too affected. I'm trying a new energy drink that seemed to have worked for Lance Armstrong, so I'll report on how that goes.

Last session an "intelligence impaired" nurse I got seemed to have missed the center of my port when she stuck me with the needle, so that hurt like hell and is still a bit sore... Won't be using her again....

Well that's it for now...see ya

Not what I expected...

Well as I come up on session #7 I've been looking back at all we've been through and realize a few things.

This is a much harder disease than I thought it would be. It's not like the flu where you're sick for a couple of days than you get better. This is a long played out stuggle.
One thing that amazes me me still after 3 months is how much of a mental struggle it is. You have to be sharp and positive mentally no matter what your body says to get through the daily grind. After this, all those "minor" stuggles I bitch about are going to be a piece of cake.

I also didn't realize how fatiguing it would be. In the beginning I had all of those problems with the side effects (I've sincegotten straightened out) but now it's just constant state of fatigue. I was ready to become everybody's hero and ride, work out and maybe race during all of this. I can't say I failed at this goal, but I've definately had to "tweak" my plans a bit....
Went for my normal walk last night and that seemed to be a struggle from the beginning. It will be interesting to see what happens when/if I try to ride this week end. But you know what, I'm out there and can enjoy the great outdoors with a new perspective. Cancer or not, there's alot of people who can't or won't try.

People who know me well know that I have a running joke that "I hate the people" (Years and years of retail do that to you...). This whole experience is starting to turn me (not completely, just a bit). Between the doctors and nurses, friends and family and everyone in the community who have sent well wishes, prayers, food, smiles and so much more our way... it's really easy to see and appreciate the good and the beauty in the world around you.

Cancer is a crappy disease, but I think I might be lucky to have it....

Wow it's hot....

Well due to the holiday, my "bad days" ended up this past week end... god did that suck!
It was bad enough enough that I had absolutely no energy, but then put the feeling that I was in a shower on top of that due to the humidity and UGHHHHHH... long week end.
Big difference today with a good nights sleep and cooler air, not great, but alot better.

Nausea doesn't seem to be much of a factor anymore, just extreme exhaustion and still fighting the cold neuopothy. I did hop in the pool real quick this week end to drop the core temp down and that didn't bother me too much temp. wise, so that's a bit promising.

It now helps knowing what kind of pattern I'm in and what I'll be up against folowing chemo sessions.

Still wish I had more energy though....

First Milestone!

Well it's official, this chemo session marks the half way point!

The other good news is that after the next session, I only have to see Dr. Davis every four weeks (still have to do the chemo though).

I did, however, discover one more side effect. My jaw joint hurts like hell when I chew. One of the nurses said she's heard it happen.

Other than that, it's business as usual. Because I went on a Wednesday instead of a Monday, this week end will pretty much be a wash. It works out ok since Connie will be home and I can sleep.

Talk to you all later!

Got meds....?

Well I did a little experiment this weekend and tried not taking my "mood" meds and I could definately tell the difference.
I was much less "inspired" and less energetic and on myself for what's going on,
especially after my ride on Saturday.
I need to accept the fact that it might be awhile before I'm back to where I was physically and I just need to stay strong mentally to get thru this.